Let me start with some of the assumptions that will inform what I have to say about this rather daunting topic.  First of all, I am not—am not!—setting myself up as some sort of “expert.”  Rather, these reflections—I use the term quite deliberately—are based on my own impressions of the leaders I have “followed” and what I believe I have learned, sometimes painfully, from my own experience in several leadership positions over a period of twenty-five years or so. So, here are four foundational observations at the outset that will provide a backdrop for what follows.

First, I believe that leaders are both “born” and “made”—that is, both the potential for leadership and the learning of leadership skills are important ingredients—but, in my judgment, the latter is the most important. Many “born leaders” have “withered on the vine” because they did not develop the skills to support their potential. And some persons have become excellent leaders because they simply aspired to such a role and developed the requisite abilities through hard work, learning, and growth.

Second, the effective leaders I have known and worked with have seen themselves in a helping role and I believe that active or aspiring leaders who do not see themselves in that way should “sign themselves out.”  We already have a surplus of leaders whose aims are essentially self-serving—current examples not needed!. Of course, helping effectively also involves some skills to be developed—not all help is helpful and I’ll return to that issue—but the motivation to be in a helping role can’t be taught. If a person hasn’t “caught” that, the skills alone can be mechanical and ineffectual, like a furnace whose blower is still going but whose fire has gone out—or never got lit!

Third, I would suggest that a leader must be able to function effectively both one on one and in groups, with some basic understanding of human relations skills—such as listening, communicating, problem-solving, handling conflict—and with group dynamics—what makes groups work and what causes them to break down.

Finally, a leader should be capable of developing, communicating, and facilitating a “vision” for the organization, institution, or group with whom (s)he works. But I would emphasize, strongly, that the placement of the term “developing” first in the list was highly intentional. A vision imposed is not a vision owned!  If the persons who comprise the body who must carry out the vision do not embrace it, it will be dead on arrival. So while it can sometimes be helpful for the leader to “lay some ideas on the table,” they should be seen as starting points for “conversations of consequence” that lead to consensus at best or at minimum a genuine sense of a participatory process.

Moving forward, let me offer a bit of a cliché—it’s better to ask the right questions than it is to assume one knows all the answers—from which one might draw a maxim: it’s no sin for a leader to admit (s)he does not have all the answers.  If one needs some support for that, warrant can be found, if one is so inclined, in Christian scripture when the Apostle Paul said to the church at Corinth, “I do not have a word from the Lord.” Some have suggested that he may have been the last preacher in Christendom to have the guts to say so but, be that as it may, sometimes the asking of careful questions may be more appropriate than a standard “canned” answer.

On the other hand, neither should a good leader ignore or foster “pools” of ignorance. The dispensing of accurate, useful, appropriate information, alongside the asking of thoughtful questions that arise from careful listening, is one of the crucial characteristics of a good leader, in my judgment. It isn’t either-or but both-and—the leader is in the dual role of learner and teacher, giver and receiver of help, and no one should be exclusively one or the other.

Benjamin Brooks tells the story of two men who were fishing one day in a fairly large boat. One end of the boat developed a leak and the man at that end threw his fishing gear and bait overboard and began bailing water, while the other man continued to fish unconcerned. Finally, the “bailer” said, “Sam, why don’t you help me get the water out of this boat?” Sam replied, “my end of the boat is doing all right.” If giving help is one end of leadership (excuse the pun), receiving help is the other, and if one end of the “boat” goes down, the other may not be far behind!

The helping situation is undoubtedly complex.

• It isn’t easy for us to receive help. Most of us don’t like to admit our difficulties even to ourselves, much less to someone else. Most active or aspiring leaders have struggled hard to make themselves independent and the thought of depending on another person seems to violate something within them. Further, they may not want to face their own difficulties, to risk someone uncovering some side of themselves they have avoided, or to confront the possibility that they may need to change.
• It is also difficult to give help that is helpful. Most people like to give advice, because it suggests that they are competent and important, but they may fail to consider whether their advice is appropriate to the needs, wishes, abilities, or fears of the person(s) they are trying to help—help is not helpful if it isn’t wanted. And everyone is vulnerable to tunnel vision—responding only to one aspect of a personal or group problem, the one that interests us because it threatens or benefits us.

While it should be obvious that I regard the helping relationship and the skills appropriate to it as the dominant theme of leadership, there are subdominant themes that support it and, in my opinion, are just as important.  In the second part of this blog, I will briefly “whistle a few of those melodies.”  I hope you’ll stay tuned for the next post.