This second post on the friendships that I treasure in my life will, happily, be entirely devoted to narratives that describe and attempt to distinguish four unique relationships, each of which continues to enrich my life.

• The friend I want to reference now I also met during my two “iterations” at the post-retirement institution referenced in the earlier post. In addition to teaching in the Natural Sciences, he was the Director of the University Honors Program and chose to get me involved with the Honors students. That included inviting me to speak to the students in Honors classes, join them for meals and social “outings,” and accompany them on trips to other cities—e.g. Asheville, Charlotte, Durham, etc. He always enjoyed introducing me as “a man acquainted with failure,” since he knew I had retired three times. He was accurate in more ways than one, since I still had two to go! His popularity with students had absolutely nothing to do with his being “easy.” He was a well-prepared classroom teacher and his relationship with Honors students was in no way based on letting them “get by” because of their stature among the student body and had everything to do with his insistence that they continue to earn their status as Honors students and his tireless efforts to help them do so! Now that I am no longer employed at the institution we both served and he, too, has retired, we are engaged less often, but he continues to be a good and faithful friend for now more than 20 years and continues to be an icon of a teacher able to be a friend to students while never diminishing his high expectations of them.

• When I began the move from full-time teaching to administration, the first role I held was about a three-quarters time position as Chair of the Division of Humanities, which meant I could no longer offer the number of courses, especially in philosophy, that were needed. Fortunately, a woman who was well qualified to teach those courses, just “walked in off the street,” as we later said.  We learned that her husband was an accomplished architect who was moving his practice to the major city near our institution and she was near completion of a PhD in philosophy. My wife and I established and value both a social relationship and a business affiliation with her husband, who designed and drew the plans for the addition of a screened-in porch as well as a major expansion of the deck on the side and the back of our house. She, I must say, was an absolute “God-send” who not only picked up where I had left off, but developed the philosophy program more fully than I had done. Our common academic interest led to a broader friendship and she joined the faculty in a full-time position when I became the VP for Academic and Student Affairs. She not only taught a full class load, served on committees, spent extra time with students, but also served as Adjunct Professor in the Department of Social Medicine at the UNC School of Medicine.  The friendship continued and deepened through the years and has extended strongly into our retirement. She is now Chair of the Board of Directors of the non-profit organization, on whose Board I also serve, which places adult volunteers with organizations that address homelessness and hunger in our community. This friendship, going now on 37 years, is one that I obviously treasure.

• The woman I will speak of now, I met when she became the Secretary and do-it-all in the new office/classroom building where I had been provided an office when I moved out of a small office in the oldest building on the campus. She served the 20+ faculty members of four Humanities departments with an imperturbable level of grace, efficiency, organization, and calmness in the midst of an I-need-this-now culture. When in 1988 I became the Academic VP and moved to the administration building, the faculty warned me of a massive revolt if I dared to offer her a position in my office. And, at first, I didn’t because I inherited the Administrative Assistant who had worked with the previous VP. She was also a very efficient and helpful partner, but, unfortunately, in about three years, she was diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer, was soon unable to work, and tragically died soon thereafter. The position, then, was open and advertised and, while I didn’t “recruit” the Secretary from my former office building, she applied for the position and there was no way on earth I could have brought myself not to offer her the job! Knowing that she had applied for the position, the faculty she had served so well grudgingly forgave me. For the next six years, she “ran my life,” keeping my appointment schedule reasonable and up to date, making sure important things were dealt with and filed, locating things on my desk that even I couldn’t find, taking notes on meetings, and generally giving me the appearance of being well-organized—all of which she did without ever seeming rushed or pressured. One thing I will never forget is walking into my office one day (in late February, 1996) and finding on my desk an article on the back page of the current Chronicle of Higher Education. entitled “How to Procrastinate and Still Get things Done”—a prime example of her combination of humor and helpfulness, all based on how well she knew me. I’ve kept the article for over 25 years!! When I resigned to go back to the classroom for a year or so before I retired, she stayed in the position, serving my successors, until her own retirement. We have remained good friends for about 45 years and stayed in touch to this day. She never, ever, forgets my birthday!

• The relationship I want to describe next has been an “off&on” acquaintance/ friendship for 55 years! He was Chair of the Music Department when I arrived to begin my career in higher education in 1968. I had a long-standing interest, and participation, in music, which began in high school, continued in college, and pretty much “took a nap” during grad school. But it was easily awakened by the college’s well-known music program and, over time, opened a collegial connection with the department chair and choral director, over music interests and more expansive issues that faculty members care about. However, in 1976, he became Dean of the School of Music at Ithaca College in NY. Over the next 26 years, our relationship pretty much went on “hiatus.” I learned, however, that after leaving Ithaca, he served in key administrative positions at two universities, one in Florida and, later, another in VA. He retired the same year I did, in 2002, and settled with his wife in Winston-Salem, NC. He has stayed busy in post-retirement—in music, consulting responsibilities with a number of colleges, and continued making the trips to Russia which began during his academic career. We have renewed our interactions and developed a friendship over shared interests, including music, of course, our common experiences in academic administration, and, at one point, his efforts to get involved in recording commercial voiceovers, which I did regularly for 25 years and for which he definitely possessed “the voice.” He wrote an expansive autobiography, which I could not imagine doing, and for 4 years has commented faithfully and insightfully on my blog posts. I value this acquaintance which has deepened to a friendship after more than 5 decades!

And so ends these reflections on four relationships that enriched and continue to bless my life.

The third post, which will be “up” soon, will be devoted entirely to two relationships, each of which has, sadly, ended—but will never be forgotten! I hope you will join me in gratefully remembering how each of these friends blessed my life and how their passing wrenched my heart!