On the Boundaries of Personal Responsibility and the “not my fault” Culture

There is a phenomenon in our society which is, at least for me, very troubling.  I would call it the “not my fault” culture.  It is the apparent acceptance of the tendency on the part of many to blame their actions—or anything that happens as a result of their actions—on someone or something outside their control.  While I’m more conscious of it among the younger generation, it seems to be all around us at the boundaries of the personal, the social, the institutional, and, most recently—need I be more specific?—the political. 

As I’ve reflected on that lately, I was reminded of a document that I ran across recently—I don’t remember where I saw it or when, other than many years ago, but I was sufficiently impressed then to place it in my “quotable quotes” file.  I have reviewed it from time to time over the years and I have found that it speaks to me of the importance of personal responsibility. 

It doesn’t cover everything about one’s life and, I would argue, no single statement can.  I am not a fan of “absolutes,” most of which, in my humble judgment, do have exceptions however strong and important they may be.  And this statement that I have found helpful and instructive, at least from my perspective, also begs for several caveats. 

It isn’t, for example, a religious or faith-based statement, although it isn’t inimical to the notion that we are “gifted” by our creator and responsible for how we develop and use those gifts.  It can speak, within its boundaries, to and for adherents of most religious persuasions or none at all.

Furthermore, I certainly don’t intend for it to offend or to take lightly persons who have been victimized by physical, mental, or emotional disabilities as a result of genetic or environmental factors beyond their control or those who have been “ambushed” personally or professionally by the malicious actions of others.  At the same time, I am often amazed and uplifted at the ways some persons I know, and many that I don’t know, are able to move through and even rise above the limitations of such circumstances.

We are clearly, then, on the boundaries of nature and nurture and personal responsibility.  That is a much larger conversation than is intended here, one that rests on huge amounts of research leading to a variety of conclusions, and one I am not prepared to “unpack” at this point. And neither have I broached here the various moral and ethical bases upon which, consciously or unconsciously, our choices rest.  That is a conversation I am somewhat qualified to discuss and which I intend to do in this space at another time. That doesn’t mean, however, that as these issues remain “in the parking lot,” I must linger in suspended judgement, resting on top of a question mark.  I have made choices, I have choices yet to make, and I must acknowledge the bases upon which I believe that I make them and my responsibility for them.

That said, the statement is called “A Personal Commitment to Excellence,” attributed to John Compere. It acknowledges the boundaries of the then, the now, and the not yet, and I offer it to you here.  As noted, it does not answer all of the questions that swirl around personal responsibility but it is a start, and while I know that my reach exceeds my grasp, I have tried to accept it as my own, with the caveats noted. I hope that you might find something in it that speaks to you and becomes the incentive for your comments and the stimulus for further conversation.

A  PERSONAL COMMITMENT TO EXCELLENCE

I am the sum total of the genetic endowment with which I came into the world, and of all the experiences which have made up my life. 

Some of them have been good, some bad, but all of them have been mine.  

My life, my reputation, my influence is the mirror of the choices I have made. 

If I am not everything I can be, it is because I haven’t chosen to be more.

I am determined not to live in my past, which I cannot change,or to waste time waiting for the future, which I cannot guarantee,

but to live in the emerging reality of the NOW, which is all I have. 

I cannot do everything, but I can do some things.

I certainly cannot do everything well, but I can do some things well. 

I cannot guarantee that I will win, but I can promise that I will not allow losing to become a habit,

and that if I fail, it will not be a failure of nerve.

So I will stand tall, feel deeply, think large, and strive mightily,

remembering that what I accomplish probably won’t change the course of human history,

but what I attempt will create the course of my personal history.

Toward making this declaration a reality,

I hereby commit myself!